mountains + valleys (YAV update)
mountains + valleys; highs + lows; moments of grief, + moments of joy. our life is full of them.
on august 19, i fell into a figurative valley.
leadership for the Young Adult Volunteer program (the service program I would serve with in scotland) informed all YAVs that in-person service for the 2020-2021 year was canceled, meaning that i will not be leaving for scotland in january as i had so intensely hoped.
the news came pretty suddenly + truthfully, it’s been a lot to process. on the one hand, i saw this decision coming + respected that safety is a priority. on the other hand, i was in total shock + the grief was a lot to bear. add on top of this that two days later i would be heading to seattle for work + a solo retreat. it just felt weird.
as of early june, the plan has been to operate on a modified YAV service year beginning in january as opposed to the initially slated august departure.
i held tightly to that june decision; i made my own big life decisions based on that news hoping that the state of the pandemic would improve enough for me + my fellow Scotland YAVs to leave this winter. being able to leave in just a few more months gave me some sliver of hope amidst so much global uncertainty.
the day after receiving this hard news, i was getting ready for the day + i slipped this bracelet on my wrist. austin and erika gifted it to me a few months ago as a birthday gift because they had noticed me eyeing it at a holiday gift market last winter.
when i first saw it all those months ago, the two triangles sparked some curiosity about whether it had deeper meaning or if it was just a trendy, geo shape. ultimately i couldn’t figure the symbolism, so i decided not to splurge on getting it for myself, but, as the ashenbrenners do quite well, they were paying attention.
as i glanced down at the gold band, it hit me: this is my physical reminder of those mountain + valley moments. being a girl who grew up in the “smoky valley” + then moved to a place surrounded by mountains, i think about these opposites frequently. in fact, i’ve had a blog post with this title sitting in my drafts for a while.
i’ve been reminded as the last two weeks have passed that these ‘valley’ moments don’t have to be colored in such a negative light for long. i know that even though this season is hard, it will only lend itself to lessons learned + a heart even more prepared to serve in whatever ways i am called. i can’t wait to see what mountaintop moments lie ahead.
as i’m sure you’re wondering, my choices for how to proceed with the program are a) engage with a virtual YAV program for this year, b) opt-out of the virtual program, + defer in-person service to next fall, or c) do both.
the virtual program will be an online learning program “focused on social justice, advocacy and the Matthew 25 invitation related to dismantling structural racism.” i’m excited about the learning opportunities this will create + the best part is the virtual program is free!
after some good soul time on the washington coast last weekend + weighing my options, i have decided to make the two-year commitment to the virtual year and an in-person year beginning next fall. i feel confident that this is the time of my life where i should be saying ‘yes’ to new adventures, even if that means sacrificing something else, i.e., time, living in Seattle, etc.
I will be sure to keep you updated as things progress + let you in on some of the information i’m learning. thank you all so much for your thoughts, prayers, + support of me always. they are felt + appreciated.
in love + gratitude,
t